Well I've been waiting here for hours/ it's getting cold, position closed

I can take or leave most bands these days. I’d imagine it’s pretty exhausting keeping up with what’s new. Plus, of course, it gets difficult to look up to someone ten years younger than yourself, or a band a few years older than myself, trying desperately to hide their age with comfortable hats and trotting out trite soundbites.

But, I decided to dust off my gig-shoes for one of my ongoing obsessions earlier this week- Maximo Park.

My job tends to put me in the same cities (even the same venues) as bands I’d love to see, but usually we’re a few weeks apart. Mrs Trousers actually has 6 tickets for the Newcastle shows in May, but I’ll be in America.

Last week Maximo Park put details on their website of a free gig showcasing new material with less than a week’s notice. The first 250 entrants could also buy a one-off 7” single, all profits of which would go to No Surrender, a cancer charity. I was pretty excited, but given the first-come first served basis and the fact that it was being held at the College, I didn’t hold out much hope, especially as Mrs Trousers is now 37 weeks pregnant.

The day rolled around and I knew that I had to give it a try, even though there were comments on the site from schoolkids saying they’d be outside from 1.30 to collect a wristband at 7pm. I certainly wasn’t going to subject my lady to that, but we both knew I'd spend the evening (indeed, the whole week) twisting and turning, wondering 'what if?....'

I wrapped up a bit and ventured out. Arriving at 5, there was already a healthy queue, but I figured it was about 150 people. I engaged in a bit of blokey chat with Mark, probably the only other guy there who could muster a beard. A few minutes later , no-one had joined the line behind us, but at least 10 kids had slinked in in front of us, joining friends or simply scanning up and down the line until they saw a face they vaguely recognised. Freakin kids. Finally a couple joined the line behind me, having driven up from Pontefract, 2 hours away.

Time edged on, the sun went down, the wind picked up and the line in front of us was swelling. The line behind, not so much. The queue tightened a bit and we had to move away from the protective wall , exposing us to a bitter wind. Mark went to speak to the security guys and we learned the theatre had a capacity of 300. This wasn’t looking so good anymore.

Still, by 6 I was resolved to stay until the bitter end. Mark’s sister joined us and Mrs Trousers decided she would join me at 7 – the assumption being I would blag her a wristband or she could join us at the entrance. So began the slowest hour of our lives. My new-found friends and I were doing our best to stay upbeat and positive, but the cold was sapping our resolve somewhat. Officials worked their way up the queue, offering band T-shirts for a donation to the charity. I got the smallest one available, for Trousers Jr. Sadly, most of the kids seemed to see this as a freebie and took what they could, giving nothing.

Mrs Trousers joined us just after 7, but we hadn’t really moved. The queue had widened, but no-one was being let inside. Another fact-finding visit to the security guys revealed plans to let the queue in 25 at a time.

7.30 and no-one had been let inside… Finally, groups were trickling inside and we began to slowly move down the line towards the barriers. Counting the number of groups going in, it was a struggle to stay hopeful.

Nearing the front I got a look at the security crew and realised they all used to work with me back when I was a bar manager. I called Awful Alan over and introduced Mrs Trousers. He told us we should just make it inside. Our little group felt their wait had been rewarded.

Finally we were at the front of the queue;the next step was to the holding pen to be issued wristbands before being allowed inside. Alan released the catch and let us through, the Pontefract couple first, then Mrs Trousers and I, and Mark, but stopped his sister. We all stopped and explained we were together and Alan let her through. There were no wristbands left, but they let us in anyway.

We got a 7” and got the T-shirt signed for baby Trousers, but we were a bit too cold for witty banter with the band. For their part I’m sure they were sick to death of signing stuff and smiling politely as people told them how cold it was outside.

Say what you like about bouncers, but if they know you and you keep them sweet, they'll work wonders for you...



Stay tuned for a gig review, and the aftermath...