I'm sorry hipsters, I just don't get it. I share my tour bus with 6 Dutch people. Now, I've covered their strange habits before. Their sense of superiority, their insistence on always taking the same seat. i can forgive that stuff. But this?
No matter where we are in the world, they all demand Corona. If we don't have it, or if it's warm, they stick out their lips and ostracise me for the night. They continue to peeve about it into the next day. Bear in mind, on a lot of tours you don't get free beer every night. You certainly don't get to choose what sort you would get. And if you did, I should hope you had the taste, nay, the common fucking sense, not to choose this enchanted water.Back when I worked in a bar, we would mock the douchewanks who came in and asked for Corona, then got huffed and ordered something else if we had no limes (we would often run out, such was demand for this piss-yellow devil's excreta. In summer, we would get through thousands of bottles per week, and thousands of limes (which even in bulk are about 5 times more expensive than lemons, penny-pinchers).
Granted, I would also mock the smart-arses who would smugly say 'You know, in Mexico they put the lime in to keep flies out, it serves no other purpose' These people have obviously never tasted Corona. With lime, it tastes like, well, a lager shandy in a dirty glass, made with flat lemonade and a squeeze of lime-juice. Without, it tastes like, I don't know.. an angel-fart. Nix, nada, nothing.
THIS BEER HAS NO TASTE!
I've even started drinking Beck's Gold, for fuck's sake! I have even, in my lowest moments, drank an original Beck's or a fucking Brand to avoid another night drinking this chihuahua piss. I'm lobbying for a blockade on Mexican beer. Come on Obama, I demand change. Defend my rights to drink a Guinness or a Rivet Catcher, dammit!
Next time, I'm voting for this guy.
2 comments:
Corona is gross. It's entirely the product of marketing. Of course, cocaine ruins the taste buds - there's no other possible explanation.
I'm probably just as bad for drinking Rickard's Red, but at least it tastes like something. Plus, bright orange urine!
The darker, the better, I say. i have enjoyed the odd Red when I'm your side of the atlantic. I think you've hit the nail on the head, once again- Corona and coke do seem to go hand in hand..
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